My dear friend Dyneril,
By Moradin’s beard, what a day I’ve had! I’ve already written to you about the kobold brigands that have taken over the mine in Schatzheim. Every day they grow more brazen in their attacks. Just this past week we’ve had four kidnappings! Gareth the Fleet, best deer hunter in Schatzheim; Molly Fairweather, ample-bosomed lady of the night; Dairuil Silvertoe, half-elven dancer (and favourite of Lord Hadderly); and, of course, Tulip, the apprentice at Selina’s Flowershoppe. You remember Tulip. With a face like that, who could forget?
As a matter of fact, I was almost next on the list. I was ambushed on the road just outside of Schatzheim, and the next thing I remember is waking up in a forest clearing, bound and gagged and chained to an obese dwarf. Brings back memories of your bachelor party, no doubt. It appears we were being used as bait for a group of passing adventurers, who nonetheless braved the kobold ambush to rescue us. It was a hard-won battle, but we emerged victorious.
Only afterwards did I get a good look at my rescuers, including my fellow dwarven hostage, and what a strange bunch they were. Minotaurs, elves, dwarves, humans, dragonborn. A less likely group of allies I cannot fathom. In the aftermath of the battle they discovered a note instructing the kobolds to kidnap me and take me to their master, someone called “God-King Kuz-Talak”, whoever that is. Something about requiring “arms of steel”. I don’t know why, I’m hardly an expert weaponsmith.
After they escorted me back to the smithy, they headed to the Pick and Shovel to try and find employment. Apparently Durhaim Earthtalker, the mine foreman, offered them the job of clearing the mine of kobolds. Those poor fools accepted, of course. The dragonborn is still in town, spending some coin on one of Schatzheim’s rarely-employed dragonborn prostitutes, but the last I heard the rest of them were headed up to the mine. Hope they fare better than the last lot. People say there’s something evil in that mine; something much worse than kobolds.
Anyway, I must go. A mug of Burleybrew’s Bowel Blaster awaits me at the Pick and Shovel. You must come and visit me once this kobold business has been sorted out. In the mean time, give my love to your wife and little ones.